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Harmful and hurtful: asking the hard questions about micro-aggressions

Old Elizabethan Bilal Harry Khan threw down a challenge when he took part in a video conversation about ‘micro-aggressions’ as part of a new series of bitesize discussions on vital issues such as race and discrimination.

Anyone accused of perpetrating micro-aggressions should overcome the natural instinct to go on the defensive and instead be open enough to “interrogate the ideas at the root of things that may be causing harm”, urged Bilal, a podcaster, workshop facilitator and event host.

His ten-minute conversation with Year 13 pupils Thomas Mgbor and Ayodimeji Ojelade was recorded so that the issues raised can be discussed in tutor groups. It is one of a series of Perspective discussions being arranged by the School’s Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Ambassadors. Last year, Ayodimeji and Thomas were instrumental in the founding of Perspective – a new forum set up in the wake of the Black Lives Matter protests.

Michael Feven, Assistant Head (Pupil Development), said: “I am so pleased to see these short, accessible discussions taking place, and I thank especially Old Elizabethans such as Bilal who have agreed to take part. Thomas, Ayodimeji and the ambassadors’ team are to be congratulated on being so assiduous in ensuring that these important issues are both raised and discussed at QE.”

Other conversations in the series so far have included one with Natasha Devon MBE, an activist and researcher in the fields of mental health, body image, gender and social equality.

Bilal (OE 2003–2010) read Theology at Cambridge and then worked in youth engagement. He has designed and delivered hundreds of speeches and workshops in schools and youth settings on behalf of partners such as KPMG, Virgin Atlantic, Boots and Barclays. He is also frequently called upon to speak on issues of social justice, race and masculinity for news and current affairs programmes.

Bilal began the discussion by defining micro-aggressions: “They are statements, actions or incidents which are regarded as indirect, subtle or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalised group, such as a racial or ethnic minority. The key bit for me is the words ‘indirect, subtle or unintentional’…These are things which are unintentional, but are still harmful or hurtful, when somebody might say ‘ah, but I meant that in a nice way,’ or ‘that was just a bit of banter’ or ‘that was supposed to be a compliment’. “

He gave an example from his own experience: “That question: ‘Where are you from? No – where are you really from?’ Where you have said you are really from is never the right answer. They want to know where your grandparents or great-grandparents are from; when I say ‘north-west London’ that is not believed.”

Bilal continued: “It’s the cumulative impact of loads of micro-aggressions that really makes someone feel like ‘I don’t belong here’ or ‘I am angry’ or ‘I am ashamed’ or perhaps that there is ‘something about me that is not right’.”

He suggested that QE pupils should be a true “ally” by challenging micro-aggressions not only when someone who might be hurt or harmed by them is present, but also when they are absent. He urged boys to be “more confident and comfortable to challenge and question, and also just to own up and apologise when we have said and done these things”.

Thomas asked Bilal how he would respond to those who would suggest we are turning into a “snowflake community”.

“This is not about being ‘woke’ or hyper-sensitive or being ‘snowflakes’,” Bilal said. “It’s about recognising that these issues have actually been used as tools of oppression for centuries.”

 

 

“Even the best-laid plans need to be critiqued” – Mantraraj on making the most of your career

Still in his thirties, lawyer Mantraraj Budhdev is today not only global Head of Compliance for one of the world’s biggest logistics companies, but also its Head of Legal, responsible for the Americas, Europe and Russia.

Throughout his life, he has worked ferociously hard and overcome disappointments, bad bosses and discrimination on his way to achieving his current success with Dubai-based DP World.

This month, as he celebrates the tenth anniversary of qualifying as a solicitor, Mantraraj took the opportunity to reflect: “The message I would convey is that a lot is down to luck, being in the right place at the right time. But more importantly, it’s about seeing opportunities as they come up and taking them and making the most of your career. That is easier said than done, and who you work for is very important.”

Yet alongside luck and capitalising on opportunities, Mantraraj (OE 1997–2004) has also very deliberately taken steps to ensure he does not drift, asking himself some hard questions every two years, fully prepared to adjust as necessary, whether that means a change of employer or even a change of career.

Mantraraj grew up in Radlett, where his family still lives. In Year 6, he had applied, among others, to The Haberdashers’ Aske’s Boys’ School. Habs didn’t offer him a place, but something about QE had felt right to Mantraraj from the outset. “I think QE was a huge turning point in my life. I have very, very fond memories of it and I am proud to say I am state-educated.

“QE is not an easy place – or at least at that time it wasn’t – because you are among huge numbers of people. I saw people fall through the cracks, and back then it was easy to fall through. You could make the most of it, but if you didn’t want to help yourself, no one else was going to do it for you,” he says. He contrasts his experience with that of his sister who went to an independent girls’ school, where smaller class sizes made possible a rather different approach.

He traces his desire to be a lawyer back to his first years at QE and to the American TV show, Perry Mason, about a larger-than-life criminal defence attorney. “I watched it religiously and absolutely loved it.”

It was not only his career choice that was established at QE: a fearsome work ethic emerged, too. “I was never one of the popular kids, the cool kids: I was a grafter; I know I work hard.”

Unsure what type of lawyer he wanted to be, he took steps to find out. “I ended up doing work experience at quite a broad range of firms, from the High Street solicitor doing conveyancing and the like to Citizens’ Advice Bureau-type work and law firms in the City.”

As a senior pupil, he undertook a week’s summer holiday work experience with Canary Wharf colossus, Clifford Chance, and with Travers Smith, a more boutique City law firm. It was at these that he found his métier: “I like the buzz of the corporate world.”

He applied unsuccessfully to Cambridge – “I am not ashamed to say I was an Oxbridge reject” – so went instead to the London School of Economics to read Law. And he says that while campus universities, and even Oxford and Cambridge, offer one sort of student life, he greatly enjoyed the very different experience he received at LSE. “I had a fantastic time. I would not change it; it prepares you for life in the city.”

Yet while his studies were progressing well, Mantraraj realised that his contemporaries seemed to be advancing with their careers more than he was, being offered places on firms’ vacation schemes and training contracts. “I was getting nowhere.”

It was then that he instituted one of the unsparing career reviews which have been a recurring theme of his life, asking himself if law was still the right career for him. “Even the best-laid plans need to be critiqued – including those you have cherished from the age of 13…you have to think again and make sure you are on the right track. Every two years, I check in on myself: am I where I want to be and going where I want to go?” On this occasion, he decided to wait a little longer.

At the very last moment, Linklaters asked to interview him. The message reached him when he was on holiday with his family and, his confidence by this point at a low ebb, he almost didn’t attend. In the event, however, he went along and “hit it off with the senior partner.

“That completely changed the trajectory of my career.” He was offered a training contract and was soon enjoying the buzz he had once felt with Clifford Chance, albeit not at Canary Wharf but in the rather less stimulating Barbican, where Linklaters is based.

After two years there, he duly qualified as a solicitor on March 9th 2011. Offered the choice of joining the firm’s derivatives practice – “too niche” – or the corporate team, he opted for the “very exciting” work of the latter.

But, he adds quickly: “It’s far from glamorous – not at all like Suits on TV! The reality is very long hours. It’s not easy by any stretch.” He calculates that for one two-month spell, on average, he slept fewer than three hours a night.

He spent time on secondment with Goldman Sachs and Royal Bank of Scotland, and then was asked to go to Dubai in early 2013 as a secondee to the Dubai World investment company of the city’s government.

Two more years went by and he was back in London. Now four years qualified, he pressed for a discussion with his boss about whether he was going to “make partner”. He had identified in advance three possible scenarios for himself: trying to make partner with Linklaters; moving to in-house practice, or leaving law altogether. “I got a rather woolly response: one in ten in my intake would make partner in six years.”

Dissatisfied with this, over a coffee, he spoke to a colleague who had left Linklaters and was now at the American-British law firm, Hogan Lovells, as a partner. They were, he said, looking to hire two people with the possibility – “although no promises” – of making partner in three years.

Mantraraj duly made the move to Hogan Lovells. “For some reason, I was seen as a bit of a win for them. At Linklaters, I had a generalist role, which set me in good stead.” He was able to help his new firm secure the big fees that came with public M&A.

One day at Hogan Lovells, a senior partner took him aside and explained that they were trying to cultivate “a really important relationship”, namely with Goldman Sachs. With some reservations, he took on a secondment there in September 2016, which lasted for six months. At the bank, he had “two bosses, one good, one bad. Who you work for makes or breaks your experience. Your boss has so much influence over how your career develops.”

In early 2017, he was back at Hogan Lovells, where the corporate team was then struggling to some extent, having to rely on referrals from the firm’s huge US business. He realised there was a bottleneck above him, with senior people not being promoted, which in turn was harming his prospects for making partner.

At another two-year point in his career, he was ready for a change. It came in the most unexpected way: “DP World’s General Counsel, who was based in Dubai, happened to be in Paris on business and was having lunch with a Linklaters partner. He told this contact that DP World was looking for a replacement because their Head of Legal for Europe and Russia was leaving.

“This Linklaters person happened to be in London about a week later and was sitting in the partners’ dining room.” A strict rule applied there that diners had to take the next available chair, rather than waiting for a table to become available so they could eat with their close colleagues and friends. “Purely by chance, this chap from Paris was sat next to my first boss from 2009 and they got talking. She called me the very same day and said: ‘I just heard something that would be perfect for you.’”

He sent her his CV and, somewhat to his surprise, she sent it straight on to DP World. Mantraraj thought he was too junior to be successful, but after going through no fewer than five rounds of interviews, in the summer of 2017, he joined DP World.

“This is how things often transpire and it demonstrates how your network is important. Sometimes these things come through random routes. I don’t believe in nepotism at all, but I do believe in opportunities, and you have to create something from them for yourself when they come along.”

He thought he might stay at DP World for three or four years and then move on to keep up his career momentum: “In in-house practice, people don’t really leave: it’s not a conveyor belt like a law firm,” he explains. But almost four years in, he remains firmly committed to the company. “I ended up progressing here in a way that I hadn’t expected to be – and very quickly.”

In 2019, he was asked to create and run a new global compliance function, while still retaining his existing role. DP World is a huge business, with 55,000 employees worldwide, so the new job was an enormous responsibility. Then, from February this year, he was given the additional task of being Head of Legal for the Americas, while still fulfilling this original role for Europe and Russia.

The nature of what he does is now changing. A year ago, he had no team; now he has five people directly reporting to him and a further 16 indirectly. “I need to slowly let them do a lot more of the day-to-day work and I can be more strategic. So, it’s a transition, but it’s gradual.”

In seeking to lead the team well, he has drawn on his own negative experiences with “horrible” bosses in the past. But he readily acknowledges that he has had “incredible” ones, too – mentors with whom he has continued to maintain close ties. Not least among these is his current boss who, he says, has been an enormous inspiration and support in championing him throughout the organisation, but also his former boss at Linklaters who was instrumental in his securing his job at DP World. Now a very senior partner at Linklaters, she is herself “being instructed” by DP World: “It boils down to relationship,” he says.

Mantraraj, who is based in London, has been reflecting not only on his career, but also on the extraordinary global events of the past year – coronavirus and the Black Lives Matter protests.

“Lockdown has been a blessing in disguise, because I have not been able to do as much travelling as I normally do.”

He appreciates the deeper consideration of important issues that BLM has provoked, but adds: “Change is slow and it’s incremental and it’s not going to happen overnight.” He recalls one experience during his time with his previous firm that illustrates this.

An August baby, Mantraraj was used to being the youngest in his classes at QE. Because of his fast rise, he has often found himself in a similar position in his career. On one occasion, he was about to start a meeting with a Scottish client and his (Mantraraj’s) junior colleague, a young, white man. The client, assuming he was in fact the more senior employee, had been chatting for three or four minutes and then turned to Mantraraj and said: “Could you get me a coffee, please?”

Mantraraj says: “Because I was young, I must be the junior guy, he thought, and the white, posh boy must be the senior.”

Although surprised, Mantraraj did as he was asked. “I didn’t mind, and he was the client after all.” But when it was Mantraraj who subsequently started to lead the meeting, the client realised his mistake: “He was absolutely mortified and red-faced.

“What we need is to be prepared for what the world is going to throw at us,” Mantraraj says, adding that QE, precisely because it was “not the easiest place to be in”, had helped him in just that way. “There is a level of grit available there that brings determination – if you choose to have it.”

He remains in contact with a group of fellow OEs, meeting up for weddings and keeping in touch through WhatsApp groups. Secondary school is, he points out, a unique time in most people’s lives – a seven-year period when you are together with a group of people, the make-up of which changes little. “That is not replicated, even at uni. I think it sets you up for the 40-year career ahead of you.”

Mantraraj is not married. “Sometimes balance is very hard to strike. I start my day at my desk at 7am and it will often be back-to-back calls until 7pm, and then doing other things after dinner. I am ambitious and driven, and I have been very lucky in the progress of my career. I work very hard and that comes at a cost. Sometimes I sacrifice things that I think other people would not sacrifice.”

He cites one recent occasion when he had been looking forward to meeting his QE contemporary, Anand Gangadia, a fellow lawyer, for dinner at 6.30pm. “About five minutes before 6.30, I got an email that said: ‘I need this done tonight’. The dinner therefore became a brief walk before Mantraraj had to return to the office. “Because Anand was a lawyer, he was fine about it – we remain close! It’s difficult because sometimes you need to sacrifice, so you need to go into this career with your eyes open. Nothing is as glamorous as people think,” he says, adding that he would encourage aspiring lawyers currently at QE to make sure they get exposure to the reality of the lawyer’s life.

In any spare time, Mantraraj enjoys cooking and seeing friends.

New society champions cutting-edge engineering

With this weekend’s Bahrain Grand Prix due to launch the new Formula 1 season, members of QE’s pupil-run Year 12 Engineering Society have been making front-page news with their own exploration of the hi-tech sport.

The Sixth Form engineers looked into how CFD (computational fluid dynamics) can be used to create a virtual wind tunnel for an F1 car design. And an article about their work penned by the society’s leaders, Nirmay Jadhav and Ansh Jaiswal, features prominently in the current edition of Futureminds, the magazine produced by CLEAPPS*, a national science and technology education advisory service. In the article, Nirmay and Ansh explain why they established the society, the activities they have already held and what they aim to do in the future.

Headmaster Neil Enright said: “I congratulate Nirmay and Ansh. This is a good example of the student-led clubs and societies that are such a feature of life at QE. We find them an excellent way for boys to display initiative and develop skills such as teamwork, while providing enrichment for themselves and for their peers.”

The pair’s achievement was also praised by Head of Technology Michael Noonan: “It has been encouraging to see how they have applied their knowledge to solving real-world problems using new and emerging technologies.”

In the article, Ansh and Nirmay state that they launched the society with a threefold aim:

  • To educate members about the different engineering disciplines
  • To help those interested in applying for engineering courses at university
  • To pursue their own engineering interests and help others to do so, too.

One key meeting of the society looked at mechanical engineering, with members discussing why it is among the most popular fields in engineering. “To build upon this overview, we hope to incorporate some practical mechanical engineering with small challenges that can be worked upon weekly as a taster for the career of a mechanical engineer,” said Ansh.

In other sessions, members worked together to solve questions from Cambridge University’s Engineering Admissions Assessments (ENGAA). “This helped us get to grips with the principles and gave us all some preparation in advance,” Nirmay said.

But the undoubted highlights so far have been Computer-Aided Design (CAD) sessions, he said. “We went through the basics of how to design and develop models in 3D workspaces with Solidworks (our software of choice).” In the second week of these sessions, the society members focused on the simulations that can be carried out using Solidworks, including both the CFD simulation used to create the virtual wind tunnel and also FEA (Finite Element Analysis), which can be used to collect data about the performance of a 3D model. To explore FEA, the boys tested a load on a prism.

Ansh and Nirmay have plans to run further extra-curricular activities or competitions involving “the practical, hands-on aspects of engineering that we all enjoy”, while also boosting their skills and their appeal to employers and universities.

Besides Ansh and Nirmay, the society’s members are: Amudhu Anandarajah, Varun Vijay Kumar, Aiden Smith, Medushan Thevadaran and Alex Woodcock.

* CLEAPSS (Consortium of Local Education Authorities for the Provision of Science Services) is an advisory service providing support in science and technology to local councils and schools.

As chance would have it: Ben Cohen charts his journey from teenage dotcom entrepreneur to boss of PinkNews

Benjamin Cohen highlighted the significant role that serendipity has played in the successful and very varied career he has enjoyed since he left QE 23 years ago.

In a video conversation with the School’s Student Leadership Team and Equality, Diversity & Inclusion Ambassadors arranged during LGBT+ History Month, Ben (OE 1993–1998) told the story of his high-profile life from the age 15 to 38.

He took in his days as a dotcom millionaire, his emergence as a national newspaper columnist and TV correspondent, through to his current role as CEO of PinkNews – an online newspaper reaching tens of millions around the world which describes itself as “the brand for the global LGBT+ community and the next generation”.

He began by explaining that his time at QE was dogged by illness from when he was 12, around the time of his bar mitzvah. “I got glandular fever…I ended up not ever really recovering. I actually have MS now: it just took a long time to be diagnosed.”

It was because of his illness that he left QE immediately after his GCSEs and went to the Jewish Free School (now JFS) for his A-level studies. “When I was at JFS, I started my first business, right at the time of the internet first being a thing.”

This business was JewishNet.co.uk – “Britain’s first social network before the term was invented” – which offered an agony aunt, dating service, kosher recipes and even a cyber-rabbi. “I think serendipity is really important. I probably would not have started that if I had stayed at QE,” Ben told his audience of current QE pupils, before adding that he was not suggesting they should follow suit and leave!

They were heady days: “I found myself above Prince William in the Sunday Times Rich List – supposedly worth a lot of money.”

He then sold JewishNet and started another business, CyberBritain – “a dot.com darling for a couple of years” – which he ran during his gap year and then while at university. Among other things, it launched a UK-specific search engine powered by its own technology and attempted to establish a service similar to Spotify.

During much of his involvement with CyberBritain, Benjamin was also an undergraduate at King’s College London, where he read Religion, Philosophy and Ethics.

If serependity was behind him going to JFS and starting his first business, it now played a part in another episode in his professional life. “Something really random happened: my then-business owned a lot of assets – domain names – and one of the domain names was itunes.co.uk. We just happened to own it.”

Apple duly sued and this attracted the attraction of the national newspapers. “I was asked by the guy who was reporting on the story for The Times if I wanted to go to their Christmas party and I said, ‘Oh, why not?’”

At the party, he met The Times’ business editor, who asked him to write a column. “Weirdly, at the age of 21, I was writing a weekly column about e-business and technology…for The Times – mostly because the grown-ups didn’t really understand how the internet worked!”

When he then asked to write for the newspaper about LGB issues – as they were then termed – he was turned down, because someone else already had that role. “It was something I wanted to write, so I decided to write it anyway and put it up on the internet: I put it on a website I called PinkNews.co.uk – and everything kind of flowed from there.”

About a year later, while PinkNews was still small, he was asked by Channel 4 if he wanted to become its technology correspondent. An audition with the channel’s Jon Snow and Krishnan Guru-Murthy went well and Ben duly got the job. “I was 23 – the youngest-ever correspondent on a network news programme.”

For six years, he fulfilled that role alongside his work for PinkNews, which took a leading role in the battles over same-sex marriage – “equal marriage”. With Ben leading this campaign, he eventually felt he should concentrate on it full-time and so he left Channel 4. (From 2010 until 2017, he did, however, do work as a presenter for the BBC, including writing and presenting a critically acclaimed documentary, I was a teenage dot.com millionaire. He is also a longstanding UK trustee and non-executive director of Humanity & Inclusion, a global disability development charity.)

PinkNews has, he says, “grown and grown and grown”. And that growth had actually accelerated during the pandemic. “This time last year, we had 20 people that worked at PinkNews; now it’s over 40….Every month, about 50 million people consume our content,” he said. As well as attracting views through its website, PinkNews gains heavy exposure as the exclusive LGBT content provider on Snapchat, where it has seven channels, on Twitter, where it is the exclusive LGBT video partner, and on other social media channels.

“It has grown into quite a big business. I don’t really have to do any of the writing or anything like that any more because I have a whole team that does that,” he said.

Ben’s video session was recorded so that it can be used by form tutors to stimulate discussion among all year groups as an eQE online resource within QE’s personal development and wellbeing programme.

After his talk, there was a Q&A session when boys asked questions on topics including religion & LGBT rights, barriers still facing LGBT people and national changes in sex education and religious education.

To read more about the Q&A session, read our news report on the visit here.

To be the best: learning from an élite athlete

A world-class sprinter who has automatically qualified for the Tokyo Olympics explained to QE’s young sportsmen the long road he has to follow in order to achieve those explosive seconds of success in a few short metres on the track.

In a special virtual lecture, Antonio Infantino covered areas such as nutrition and sleep, outlined what he does in training, and spoke about the importance of the right mental approach.

Director of Sport Jonathan Hart said: “My thanks go to Antonio for a talk that gave a detailed picture of all the ingredients that lie behind élite-level sports success. It was great to hear his own story and I am grateful that he gave such thoughtful answers to the boys’ questions.”

QE’s now well-established lecture programme gives pupils of all ages the opportunity to learn from and question prominent individuals in their respective fields. It continued online through both lockdowns as part of the School’s work to ensure that boys did not miss out during the period of remote education.

Antonio, who will be 30 later this month, is a top 200m sprinter with a personal best of 20.41 seconds. Born to Italian parents but raised in Hertfordshire, he is based in London.

He is the three times British Indoor 200m Champion and has competed at European and World championships. He decided to switch nationality in his early 20s to follow his Italian heritage and represent Italy.

“If the Games go ahead, I hope to be in Tokyo later this year,” he said. His 2021 goals are to make the Olympic final in the 4x100m – he has already automatically qualified for the Games in this event – and the 200m. Following this, Antonio is hoping to ‘medal’ at the Mediterranean Games and European Championships 2022, before looking ahead to his second Olympic Games in Paris.

Antonio delivered his lecture in two lunchtime sessions. Both were open to all boys. “It all started for me when I was in secondary school,” he said. Inspired by Usain Bolt’s remarkable victory in the Beijing Olympics 100m in 2008, Antonio achieved a remarkable 100m time of 11.3s while in Year 8. At the age of 14, he achieved 10.9s, which, he said, was one of the fastest times of all time for that age group.

In his 20-minute talk, he spoke to the boys about nutrition, about diet and about the “often overlooked” importance of sleep, before giving them a taste of what he does in training. He then spent more than 10 minutes answering their questions.

Antonio paid tribute to the support of his parents, with his mother cooking healthy food and his father taxiing him around the country to various athletics events when he was younger.

In fact, when he went to university, the lack of such support – he had to cook for himself – coupled with some partying, led to a dip in his performances. “Through those bad years when I was not running well, I learned once again to be patient.”

In 2018, after a series of disappointments he nearly quit, but decided to carry on and has since achieved new levels of success. “That taught me that…you are going to fail [and] if you fail, you are going to learn. I have lost more races than I have won, but I think I have learned more from my failures than from the races I have won. So, keep patient and keep persevering and you can still achieve what you want to achieve.”

During the Q&A session, Antonio discussed the issue of ‘nature vs nurture’. Evidence suggested that through long hours of practice and expert training alone, anyone could reach élite levels in certain fields of endeavour. He pointed to the example of László Polgár, Hungarian chess teacher and educational psychologist, who trained his three daughters to play chess almost from the cradle. They went on to tremendous success, with one, Judit, widely considered to be the best female chess player ever.

Yet Antonio said it was not true that anyone could reach the very top in athletics, since in sport, genetics were also important: “You do need to pick your parents carefully if you want to be a top sprinter!”

Nevertheless, for aspiring athletes to achieve success, mindset is very important, he said. “Really believe you can do something,” he advised the boys. “Mindset is hugely important in my sport. I had a lot of naysayers…self-belief is really important.”

Asked about how he is paid, he spoke of his financial dependence on sponsorship and said that he must wear sports clothing made by his sponsor, rather than by other manufacturers.

He had some specific advice when asked about his approach to a race by one of the School’s sprinters, saying that he maps out in his mind how the race will go. He advised sprinters to try to ‘explode’ out of the blocks and then to take long strides in the early stages of the race, rather than going at a fast cadence, in order to conserve energy.

He urged a “multisports” approach for the boys. “I think that everyone should try a bunch of sports, and that’s the best way to find one you are good at.” Antonio himself had played a number of sports during his school years, reaching academy level with Watford FC. He dropped this involvement in order to focus on athletics, but still enjoys playing various sports informally, stating that the general fitness they develop in some ways makes his specialised athletics training easier.