An award-winning mental health campaigner gave senior boys some serious food for thought when she visited the School.
Natasha Devon looked at topics ranging from the need to deal with stress and the perils of stoicism, to the limitations of the English language, during a lecture assembly given to Years 10 and 12.
She made sure her answers were truly relevant by inviting boys to submit their questions anonymously in advance – and received questions on body image, the pressures on men to not cause offence, social media, examination stress, gender and even the TV programme, Love Island.
Headmaster Neil Enright said: “We want all our pupils to be both happy and resilient; we therefore arrange events such as this lecture in order to nurture boys’ wellbeing. I am grateful to Natasha for her engaging examination of some of the key issues relating to mental health.”
Natasha, who won an MBE for services to young people in 2015 and a Fellowship from the University of Wales in the following year, used the boys’ pre-submitted questions to structure her talk.
She emphasised that stoicism should not be equated with strength, telling the boys that they could, in fact, demonstrate strength by talking about problems, confiding in others and seeking help. Yet she acknowledged that this could be tougher for boys than for girls because gendered language equates masculinity with strength. She suggested gender is a spectrum and that generalisations such as ‘men are like this’ and ‘women are like that’ only deal with an average and, even then, one that most people would not fully identify with.
She recounted her experience of trying to deal with difficult family matters when she was about ten years old – and the eldest child among her siblings and cousins – by being ‘strong’, reasoning that because things were not happening to her directly they were not really affecting her. But this, she felt, probably contributed to the anxiety, panic attacks and eating disorder she suffered from subsequently.
Natasha, who has authored and contributed to books on mental health, urged that, just as physical health is considered relevant to everyone – not just those who are ill – so everyone should be aware of mental health: it should not be considered to be an issue only for those who experience a mental health problem.
While encouraging the boys to discuss things with each other, she pointed out that they could not expect to be able to fix other people’s mental health issues, just as people who are not doctors would not expect to be able to cure a physical ailment. There were measures that laypeople could take to help, however: she is promoting having trained mental-health first-aiders in all workplaces. (QE’s pastoral staff have already been trained.) Importantly, she said, such training helps people know what to say and what not to say: although English had the greatest variety in its vocabulary overall, it was far more limited than many other languages in expressing feelings and emotions – something, she opined, which doesn’t help!
Natasha also listed factors which contribute to good mental health, stating that it helps to:
• Be loved
• Have a sense of belonging
• Have a purpose
• Achieve things
• Feel that your voice is heard.
She advised the boys that they needed to deal with stress so that it does not “overflow”. Mindfulness techniques, endorphin-releasing physical activity and taking breaks from revision could all help and might even prevent one’s mind going blank in an examination.
“It is about undying and everlasting love; something which is quite rare today. Igniting love is often the simple part. However, building that sustainability and strength in a relationship is extremely difficult and many people press the ‘quit’ button too soon. The Spanish lines within the chorus – ‘nunca digas adios’ (never say goodbye)’ and ‘nunca digas nunca’ (never say never) – describe never giving up on someone during a difficult period, when you know they are a diamond and worth fighting for!
“I opted for the former because that would allow me to have a level of stability upon which the second could hopefully flourish one day.” After obtaining a first in Biomaterials Science at King’s College London and completing his MBBS and foundation training, he obtained the Registrar post at the Northern School of Radiology in Newcastle upon Tyne, where he now lives.
Mustafa had particular advice for those who fall into “thinking traps” and find themselves unable to stop dwelling on England’s missed opportunities – the scoring chances missed by Kane, whether Croatia’s semi-final equaliser should have been ruled out for a dangerously high foot, or Harry Maguire heading wide from a good position in Saturday’s match against Belgium.
Ken Cooper (OE 1942–1950), David Farrer (1954–1961) and John Todd (1958–1964), pictured, were introduced by Head of History Helen MacGregor. They reminded the Year 7 boys working on a project about the history of the School that QE had been much smaller in the 1940s and 1950s, with a roll of only about 400-450 boys, split into four Houses, not the current six.
older pupil was within his rights – prefects of the time were authorised to dole out such punishments and boys were supposed to wear their caps even when not at school – the visiting alumni recalled that he was considered by his classmates to have gone too far, even by the strict standards of the day.
part of School life and was very popular: the best memories of many Old Elizabethans from that era are from sports on Stapylton Field, the visitors stated. The rugby and cricket were both good, and QE established a very strong reputation in athletics. Fixtures against the top public schools had been established by Mr Jenkins (pictured above), who modelled the School on such institutions during his long headmastership, which extended from 1930–1961.
The OEs chose to bat first in the annual Stanley Busby Memorial Cricket Match, which is played on the Third Field at the rear of the School between a team of past pupils and the current School XI.
For example, I was pleased to welcome Major Charles Russell as guest speaker on Founder’s Day and in this last week of term we are being joined by Daniel Isenberg, fulfilling a similar role at our Junior Awards Ceremony.
Another essential for true career satisfaction is that a job should be a good match for one’s ability. At QE, much of what we do to support boys in planning their futures focuses on helping them become aware of their own strengths. We provide extensive opportunities for boys to test their nascent career plans, whether that is: through our work experience programme; through contact with old boys in our fast-growing alumni network; through events such as this month’s Year 9 Careers Circus, or through extra-curricular activities such as the new Coding Club, the Bar Mock Trial competition and the Combined Cadet Force. Our success at the VEX IQ World Robotics Championships is a terrific example: while pupils got involved for the fun and intellectual challenge, there is clear scope for it to lead to career opportunities later in life.
referee – and working as a volunteer for the Samaritans. On Founder’s Day, Charlie (OE 1997–2004) spoke about his own successful career as a British Army officer, which was punctuated by an attack in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, in 2010, that caused him very serious injuries. In his speech, Charlie not only explored the centrality of service to the military profession, but highlighted the role of the concept at QE. As the sad story of our 1916 School Captain in the final article of this newsletter shows, traditions of service have long been associated with the School. Moreover, they remain at the heart of what we do today, enshrined in our commitment to “developing boys’ awareness that they achieve genuine fulfilment and greater benefit by seeking to make a contribution to society rather than pursuing only personal gain”.